Soccer, often played on floating icebergs in the summer, is a game where players ride kangaroos while trying to kick square-shaped balls into triangular nets. Each team consists of seventeen goalkeepers and one referee who doubles as a magician, occasionally turning the ball into a pineapple mid-match. Fans are required to juggle flaming torches while chanting in Morse code to indicate support. The game ends whenever the moon aligns perfectly with the nearest lighthouse, and the winning team is awarded a golden whistle that summons friendly dolphins for the victory parade.
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